My name is Rebecca and I am in recovery. I started using drugs when I was 9 years old because I was terrified to sleep. I was afraid to asleep because my brother abused me. All the sleepless nights resulted into insomnia for me and post-traumatic stress disorder. I didn’t stop and It didn’t stop.

PANIC ATTACK

At 12 years old I found by brother on top of me with crazy eyes trying to touch me. I put up a fight but he was stronger than me. The worst part about it is no one believed me. At that moment in time I became terrified with drugs and men because I saw first-hand what they were both capable of. When my Mom finally came to the realization that I wasn’t lying the damage was already done. I hated my brother and he hated me.

CHANGING SIDES

I started using cocaine but it wasn’t my thing yet. I also decided men weren’t my thing either. So I decided to be with women. Those days went wonderfully… not. The group of friends I hung out with couldn’t understand what I was going through. The molestation continued with one of their brother’s best friends in the basement. I couldn’t tell anyone. So I didn’t.

ANSWER MY PRAYERS

At 13 I tried to be spiritual. I tried to find some deeper meaning in what was happening to me. I couldn’t. I started to drink, smoke and snort anything I could get my hands on. At age 14 my Meme died so I tried to hang myself. That didn’t work so I started cutting. Cocaine became my new thing and by age 15 I was in DCF custody. I went to 5-6 different detoxes and got my ass beat in a halfway house.

REALITY CHECK

I started prostituting when I was 17 really up until now. Well before I got sober that is. I dropped out of high school and met my kids father. I thought he was the love of my wife but all he did was beat me. This went on for a good 3 years of my life. My mother ended up passing away at the age of 48. I was 18 and started doing heroin at her funeral. I OD 5 times and finally something clicked.

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Currently I am at Life Changes Addiction Treatment Center. I am sober and really trying to change my life. I am doing good now. I am in rehab and making a difference in my life so I can be a better mom for my twin daughters.

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